Arguments

So, every once in a while, husband and I will have an argument. More often than not, it's about dishes or mail.

Yep. Dishes or mail.

You see, we're both pretty chill about most things, but every once in a while, I tell him that I'm going to have to bite off his face if he doesn't start putting his damn dishes in the dishwasher or throwing away his own mail. I'm not a servant, and he makes me have a real job outside of being adorable.

The thing with the mail is, he will sometimes bring it inside, and then sets it on my side of the couch to go through when I get the chance. He has 2 functional hands, and is working on his masters, so I know he's capable of taking care of things, but deep down, he's got the attention span of a 6 month old puppy and just wants to be told he's a good boy and then go play.

Seriously.

The dishes is a constant battle, because I *may* sometimes not want to do them after cooking, so I *may* leave them chilling (read: soaking) in the sink *hoping* the dishes fairy will come out and clean them. Apparently, the dishes fairy doesn't exist, because I have to clean them up way more often than I want. While I *may* leave the dishes occasionally, husband has an annoying habit of not doing anything to them. So, when I finally get grossed out enough to clean it up, I have to scrub off dinner just to be able to put them in the dishwasher. Husband thinks he's helping by telling me that wives are supposed to like cleaning.

"But wifey, *you* make most of the dishes."
"DUDE, that's because you expect me to cook."
"I clean up after myself when I cook..."
"I'm not above stabbing you in the face."
"You love me."
"Only because you have a nice butt. I still want you to actually do something with the damn dishes or I'm going to punch you in the face."

True story.