Men, who gets them?

So, husband and I just came home from a trip to see his family. Now, I'm not a fan of car trips in the slightest, but since we've been married for 5 years and have never gone to see them, I was finally guilt tripped into it. (Sorry cousins)

Anyways, while in the car, we were chatting about the nature of death and what would happen if one of us were to die... I told him, I'd preserve his skin and make a suit out of it so he'd always be close to me.

He told me I was creepy.

I then asked if he ever thought about cutting off my boob to make a hat, and he said that was creepy.

I don't understand men.

Seriously.

So he made me drop the conversation (he's already agreed to build a shrine in my honor and have a room dedicated to me for the rest of his life.... we pinkie promised he'd do that.) and told me to take a nap.

Well, later this evening in the shower, I was looking at his chin to see if there were any fat hairs to pluck. It sounds weird, but it's actually a lot of fun to do.... and was mildly disappointed.

I told him that I would never find a hair as good as the one I dreamed about, where half his face fell off and I wore it like a mask. He told me I was a freak and then I pointed out that he was the one who wanted to wear my boob as a hat. He told me that was my idea too.

What is with this semi-logical form of argumentation that is sucking the fun out of my daily conversations?

I got out of the shower, and whilst drying myself off, I turned my towel the long way and made it look like the front of a toga. I asked if I could go to a toga party like that and he said something about adding a back, but it could be cute if done right. I asked why it need a back....

Husband said, "Because nobody wants to see your man ass." and walked right out of the bathroom.

Men, who gets them?